Five Times Noah Puckerman Kissed Rachel Berry
by kialasphynxea
Summary: And One Time He Can't and Doors Are Open To The Air and Sun small sequel
1. Chapter 1

**Two children, a boy and a girl in kindergarten tried valiantly to make sandcastles despite the lack of rain in the last couple of weeks making the sand- well, sandy.**

"**Noah?"**

**The boy frowned at the sand one last time before grinning at the girl, "Yeah, Rach?"**

**The girl twisted here pigtails before looking up at him, "Do you think I'm pretty?" She blushed and looked at her shoes, peeking up at him from underneath her bangs.**

"**Yeah, why?"**

"**Santana said I cheated at Duck, Duck, Goose and that I was ugly, and that my dancing was real bad, and that- and that," She gasps in some air and glances over her shoulder, "And that you thought I was real ugly, and she was really, really pretty."**

**Noah scrunched up his nose, "Why would I think Santana is pretty? She's a girl, girls have germs and bad things on them. They smell, too. Like, like… the toilets that they older people use!"**

"**I'm a girl! Do I smell and have bad germs, and stuff?"**

"**What? No! Rachel, you're… you're **_**different**_**, I like you 'cause you help me make sand castles, and you sing for me, and you made mom happy when you helped me dance for her on her birthday! Santana sits on the swings all break, and when I say 'hello' she runs away to the swings. She told Mrs. Hoverer that I put play dough in her hair!"**

**Rachel giggled, "She does play on the swings a lot," Noah nodded his head eagerly, "But you didn't tell me if you think I'm pretty or not. 'Cause if you don't I understand, Santana **_**is **_**real pretty, and her hair is braided and she has a mom."**

**He shook his head and stood up, dragging her with him, "You're more prettiful. If you weren't I wouldn't do this!"**

**He leant forward and kissed her lips, "See! I wouldn't never, ever kiss Santana cause she'd play on the swings afterwards and tell **_**everybody**_**!"**

**Rachel grabbed his hand, "Thanks, Noah. You're my best friend."**

**Noah grinned, and pulled his hand away, "Am I still coming around your house after school? Cause you said your dad's making pie. I like your dads pie."**

**-**

"**You've cut your hair," it's a statement rather than a question or an exclamation, and he can almost feel the emptiness rolling off of her.**

"**Yeah."**

"**Your dad finally leave?" They're in this cornfield they found when they were 8, it's pretty large and abandoned, and he can't stop feeling that soon any life that they had brought to it is soon going to leave.**

"**Yeah," is this goodbye? Or is he over-reacting? Probably over-reacting, Rachel won't leave him unless he does something stupid. They've been best friends since kindergarten, and that sort of friendships sticks, yeah?**

"**Your mom okay?"**

"**Clinging to Sarah like she's some sort of comfort blanket," Maybe he should be there? No, sometimes he needs comfort too.**

"**You want me to bring some pie over later?"**

"**Pie doesn't fix everything, Rach," Yeah, maybe that was harsh. Maybe.**

"**Do you think I don't know that? I'm 14, Noah, not 5," Yeah, it was harsh.**

"**Do you think **_**I **_**don't know that?" Is this turning in to an argument? He thinks it is, he hopes it's not.**

"**Lets not argue today," That sounds like a good idea, in his books, "Not after your dad."**

"**What about not after my dad?" He's leading this argument on, he knows, but he needs to blow some steam. **

"**Noah."**

"**What? Yeah, my dad left! So what? Am I suddenly not good enough for you to converse with anymore? That's rich coming from the girl who has **_**two **_**dads," This is going too far, but his brain and mouth just **_**aren't connecting**_**. "Freak."**

**There it is, he's said it. One word, one word that she's heard from nearly everyone in this town over the years and he's said it. The one word he swore he would never call her.**

"**How dare you?" **

"**How dare I? You think that was bad?" She's confused, like the time his dad told her and Noah to grow up and shut up. It was a bad day then, too, but at least then Noah had held her hand and run with her.**

**He leans over and kisses her, "That's all you'll ever get , freak!"**

_**(Later that night he tells himself that he'll never speak to her again.)**_

_**(The next day he throws a slushie at her. The next day he's Puck)**_

**-**

**They're making out on her bed, and all he can think about is how much he's **_**wanted**_** this. About how all those cougars that know what they're doing and moan out **_**the wrong name **_**don't compare to this.**

**All he can think is that after tonight, there's going to be no more cougars.**

**So when she pulls away and says, "I can't," his hearts breaks a little inside. Cause he knows, just freaking **_**knows **_**that she's thinking about Finn.**

**Yeah, he puts his guard up and lets 'Puck' take over, because when he's with Rachel…**

**Rachel feels like forever.**

**-**

"**You look like you could use a friend."**

**Noah glances up at the doorway at Rachel, who walks over and sits next to him on the bench handing him an ice pack, "We're friends? What about **_**Finn**_**? Doesn't he need any attention?"**

**Rachel smiles wryly, "Finn ahs the entire team and a weeping, begging Quinn to keep him company. I doubt he's missing me very much."**

"**I'm sorry about it all, you know that, right?"**

"**Sorry about what? The Quinn thing?" **

**He puts the ice pack down and tries to ignore the pain that blinking causes, "That too, but. For everything, when we were 14, and I called you a freak. Every slushie I threw at you, when I walked away and said we weren't friends. I'm sorry."**

**She reaches over and hugs him, "You're forgiven. You were forgiven years ago, but you have bigger problems now, and put that ice pack on, he didn't hit you that hard- Matt slowed down the momentum- but it'll swell like a bitch."**

**He laughs loudly, "What would your dads say if they heard that language?" **

**Rachel grins, "Probably shake their heads and remind you of the day they walked in to find you schooling me on the pronunciation and meaning of the words. You were such a bad influence on me!"**

"**Like you were any better, remember in kindergarten when you pushed Santana off of her swings because she made fun of me when I kissed you?" She's giggling, and he's not sure if this is the right thing to be doing when his best friend wants to kill him, and the girl he knocked up is begging for the best friends forgiveness.**

"**Yeah, it was after she had called me ugly, you promised you would never kiss her. Guess that promise got broken, huh?" A lot of promises got broken, and right now this is healing him. He supposes that if Finn and Quinn get all the attention from everybody else, he's allowed to do whatever he wants with Rachel.**

"**Suppose so, she never really changed, did she? Just instead of swings, it's other peoples shoulders."**

"**Yeah…"**

"**Do you think we'll be alright eventually? Me and Finn, I mean. We've been bro's for a while-"**

**Rachel's staring up at him, and his tangent runs short from the way that her (newly cut) bangs hang in to her eyes, "It's 'Finn and I', Noah. I don't know, he'll forgive Quinn. You know he will, Quinn Fabray can do no wrong," She rolls her eyes before continuing, "He might, but it'll take time, and if the movies are to be believed, possibly years without contact before a sudden unexpected meeting."**

**Noah laughs loudly, "What would the movies say happens now?"**

**She blinks as he leans down, and his lips are millimetres away from hers.**

"**Guess."**

**So he does.**

**-**

**He kisses her, and she's beautiful.**

**He kisses her, and they're married.**

**-**

**He swears that right now she's tied for most beautiful thing in the world, "What shall we name her?"**

**She's exhausted, but she's glowing, watching him cradle their new daughter, "Belle."**

**He nods, "Belle Caroline Puckerman."**

**There's a crowd of eager friends and family waiting outside, and really they should let them in to meet the new addition, but they're taking their time, "Caroline?" She asks, and he smiles at her.**

"**Sweet Caroline," he begins, but she's fallen asleep already.**

**The door opens, and it's Kurt, "They're about to knock the walls down, just a heads up," he's gone before Noah can answer.**

"**Noah?" He turns back to her, and watches her eyes slowly flutter open again, "I love you."**

**He shifts Belle in his arms, and goes over to Rachel, "I love you, too."**

**She looks at the bundle of pink in his arms and smiles lazily, "Look what we made, Noah."**

**He laughs slowly, and quietly, "Yeah, Rach. She's beautiful."**

"**Yeah."**

**Her eyes close again, and he kisses her quickly before going to introduce everyone to their daughter. Opening the door he calls out softly, "Hey, look who we made."**

**-**

**She's so still, and it's not **_**right**_**. She's always talking, moving, doing **_**something.**_

**Belle's outside crying, but he doesn't have the strength to go out and tell her that he doesn't know what's going to happen. He doesn't know what's going to happen to her mom. He just doesn't know.**

**He can't kiss her, he can't ground him self. There's a tube in the way, and he's so scared that if he touches her she's break, that she'll disappear.**

**There's a sound outside the door, and Finn's voice breaks through the glass demanding to know what's happened, but he can't go out there and tell them all. Can't tell them how it's touch and go, he can't.**

**The monitor is steady, but he can't take any comfort from it- it shouldn't be there. He shouldn't be here, she shouldn't be here. They should be at home, have dinner, or lunch. Whatever the time is now. **

**They shouldn't be here.**

**He touches her hand (is that too cold?) and the monitor spikes, so he jumps back again. Did he do something? Should he get someone? **

**No, there would be questions then. He can't handle questions right now. Not til she's better. Not til she's **_**Rachel **_**again, because this isn't Rachel. **

**This is her body, you can't be a person without your soul, and right now all he wants is for her to wake up and be alright.**

**Because he needs that.**

**He needs **_**her**_**, because somewhere in their lives they became something to each other, and at the moment he's not sure whether he could live without her.**

**He sits down on the chair beside her and watches her chest rise and fall.**


	2. Chapter 2

_**When you wake from deep unconsciousness it should be slow. Slow and light, like waking up to a bright day. Instead she feels like she has Cherry Slushie dripping down her face, because this jolt is familiar, but at the same it's not. **_

_**It's cold, but it's not just her face, it's her entire body. Frozen cold, and instead of giggling in the background she can hear an incessant beeping noise that's getting faster. And god, she can't breathe. Not the small pause in breathing where you get used to the temperature change, no this is choking, something blocking her throat.**_

_**Her eyes blink open wildly, because she's not leaning against locker doors, and this isn't a Slushie on her face. There's nothing on her face; she's just cold and unable to breathe, so she closes her eyes again while also choking on this blockage**_**.**

**Someone's telling her to relax, and she's not sure who, but they're saying something about tubes and laying still and **_**breathing**_**. Someone else is holding on to her hand, and his (**_**is it a he? The hand holding hers is rough, but that doesn't necessarily mean it's a mans. Breathing, Rachel. Focus on the need to breathe. Lay still. Relax. Breathe**_**) hand is shaking. **

**Wait, the blockage is being removed and it **_**hurts**_** but she needs it gone. She needs it gone now, because everything's so wrong and scrambled, and her thoughts aren't in proper order because **_**she can't even remember where or when she is**_**.**

**It's gone, and she gasps. The blockage is gone, and her throat is killing her, but she can breathe (**_**like a fish in open air. Wait, time. McKinley… McKinley High finished years ago, Rachel. Noah…Finn…Belle!**_**)**

"**Belle!"**

**Her voice is scratched up, and nearly unintelligible but the urgency is heard loudly and clearly by the people crowding around the room now. Doctors, nurses, friends, family. **

"**Rach. God, Rachel, you're alright. You're fine, you're going to be fine."**

**Noah's holding her now, and how long has she been out? What if it's years? What if she's missed years of Noah and Belle's lives? What if Belle's older now?**

"**How long?"**

"**Three weeks, Rachel. Belle's been so worried, **_**I've **_**been so worried. No-one knew, it was touch and go… You're going to be okay," He sounds so relieved, and how much has she put him through? He's thinner, she can feel it- and if this was years ago, back in high school (**_**with Slushies and baby dramas and everything was so easy, wasn't it? No it wasn't, everything was so hard, but everything was also so sheltered**_**) she would be lecturing him about eating properly, but right now she can't summon the energy. **

**The doctor's are interfering, insisting on checking on her but she really doesn't want to move, because she feels safe, and not **_**empty**_** (**_**was she empty before? She must have been, not moving, cold… Cold. She doesn't feel cold anymore**_**).**

**He presses his lips to hers quickly, and there that **_**jolt **_**warms her completely, and she's not going to be cold again. **

"**Belle?" She asks again as the nurse takes her blood pressure, and usually she would agree that this was necessary but right now all she wants is to see her baby girl.**

"**Finn and Quinn are bringing her over," and he's smiling so widely that if she had the energy she would grin back, but she needs her energy to stay awake until Belle arrives, "You're okay, Rach. You're okay," He's grasping her hand tightly, and she smiles tiredly as the nurse asks her if there's any pain anywhere.**

"**No."**

**-**

**He's barely left her side over the past 3 weeks, 2 days and 18 hours. Especially over the first critical 48 hours. It was painful for him to see like it, but he couldn't leave knowing that when he came back she could be lost (**_**forever**_**).**

**Finn and Quinn have Belle over at their apartment, because he's not leaving the hospital, and she has nowhere else to stay. **

**Tina's hushed and stuttered whisper makes it's way through the glass panes accompanied by Brittany's heels tapping outside. They still seem to think he doesn't know that they've been taking shifts, of course he knows. Kurt gives him coffee, Tina hums, Mercedes stares at the monitor, Artie shifts on his wheels, Matt and Mike both come together and offer sandwiches, Brittany's heels always pierce the silence, and Santana always gives him these **_**looks**_**.**

**The monitor starts going faster (**_**does it have to be here? It's unnatural, and the noise is too loud**_**) and she makes a choking sound, her eyes opening frantically.**

**Her eyes close again and he's still sitting there (**_**useless, useless, useless**_**) and when her eyes shut again, he's half expecting the monitor to fall flat, but when it doesn't he realises that **_**she's still choking and she can't breathe**_**.**

**Somewhere in the last ten seconds he's hit the emergency button and doctors and nurses have arrived, but he doesn't know how it all happened (**_**ten second of time past, ten seconds, ten seconds. How long can you survive without air?**_**).**

**They're telling her to relax and explaining about the tube and the air, but she's still panicking her can tell by the way she's forcing herself stiff so he grabs her hand in his. His hand is shaking and he's probably not the most reassuring person to wake up to, but god damn it he's here.**

**The next 20 seconds trickle by as the tube is removed slowly, but when it's removed she gasps for air- and he has tears running down his face. Three weeks ago he wasn't sure this day would come, three weeks ago he wasn't sure she would ever be breathing on her own again.**

**She makes an urgent sound, and he's not sure what she was trying to say, but dear god it doesn't matter because **_**she's okay**_**.**

"**Rach. God, Rachel, you're alright. You're fine, you're going to be fine," He's holding her now, but if he's hurting her she's not letting it show.**

"**How long?" This time the words can be made out, and he's even more grateful for that because he'd heard one of the nurses say something about vegetables earlier, and they were probably talking about their lunch but…**

"**Three weeks, Rachel. Belle's been so worried, **_**I've **_**been so worried. No-one knew, it was touch and go… You're going to be okay," And she is, he's so **_**sure**_**. **

**A doctor is asking to check her over, but he doesn't want to let go (**_**need this, touching. Skin touching, alive. Breathing. Rachel**_**) and she's stiffening in his arms. They need to let them check her over again, though, because he doesn't want something to happen again because he wanted to kiss her.**

**He kisses her quickly before handing her over, and that's what he's been missing (**_**soft lips, touching his quickly. Not stopping, going to be fine**_**)**

**The nurse is taking her blood pressure the next time she talks, "Belle?"**

"**Finn and Quinn are bringing her over. You're okay, Rach. You're okay," He grinning, he knows but he can't help himself. She going to be okay.**

**The nurse is asking questions again, something about pain and Rachel, but I'm not paying attention because her hand is warm and it's in mine. She's safe and with me, and she's got **_**soul **_**again.**


End file.
